Executives Can’t Be Coached by Their Pals
By jimsym on Feb 19, 2008 in coaching
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I went out for a few beers after work last night with an old pal from my former IT consultancy days.
As the night slipped by Glyn asked me what my business was as he’d explored this blog and web site and was still none the wiser.
I shook my head and admitted that because I like writing about everything I’m interested in my blogs hold a lot of information and yet they don’t really help people see what I do.
I explained that first and foremost I was a business growth coach and my aim is to help businesses grow massively. And I’ve been lucky enough to coach people around the world. I explained I recruit superstar sales people for one client, for the next I could be advising on writing copy for an advert or direct mail piece and for a third I may be listening to a plan to roll out a countrywide sales campaign.
And, I continued, I also write articles for offline publications, such as a business newspaper called “Good Company.”
Plus, I write this blog and the Manchester Blog.
Uncoachable
Glyn understood and claimed that he was not coachable. He said his wife, Kerry, was also a coach and had tried to coach him and he didn’t think it worked for him.
I can totally see Glyn’s point of view. And it’s the same one I had for a long time. After all who needs a coach when you already know what needs doing, you’re old enough that you’ve worked through, or have got used to, your own issues and you can take action?
The Secret Of Coaching
It’s simply this. We don’t all think the same way when we’re in business or in a career. We all have different attitudes, skills and other baggage that we bring to the job.
And as I began coaching I discovered that was exactly true. People needed someone who could act as a sounding board, or who held them accountable for results, or could offer a different perspective or ultimately someone who they could talk to confidentially and who wouldn’t judge them.
Who Can Coach You?
It’s unusual for people to use their friends, partners or work mates as sounding boards or confidants. Because often the people we’re closest to think they have our interests at heart. However, when you’re an entrepreneur there’s often things you haven’t straightened out in your own mind and you don’t want your circle to know about yet. And that’s because it may never happen, it may need changing and if you say anything and stuff changes you’ll be labelled a “dreamer” or a “chancer.”
And the great thing about a proper executive coach, is that they work on improving your skills and your business. They work ON your business because they don’t work in it, so working on it is all they know. They have an objective viewpoint and the good ones are honest in what they say to you. They act with your best interests as you’ve explained them, at all times.
Is Coaching Easy?
Is it easy? To do it properly it’s not. Because an executive coach is probably the one person who stands up to the boss and helps them see the true light of day. The coach doesn’t make the decisions, they help to illuminate the paths to the decisions so the best one is taken.
The great coaches recognise the skills you have and works on improving those. And will help you with improving skills in less able areas too.
Do you think your wife, husband or significant other would be bothered to go through that process? Would you want to go through it with them? Coaching questions can sometimes feel like you’re being criticised if you’re not careful.
So What About Glyn?
Is Glyn really not coachable? My answer is that Kerry can’t coach him for all the reasons I gave before, although I think she’d do a better job than me. Glyn is a friend and moving from friend to coach is not a step I’ve taken and I don’t want to try it with a good friend, because I suspect the whole relationship would change.
Have you coached anyone who was a friend? What happened?
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